- Golden Rules For Phone Calls
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I'm quite happy I looked beyond those few bad phone calls. I do not speak on the phone to people I've met online prior to meeting face to face. I don't speak to people I know in real life on the phone, so why would I speak to people from the internet on the phone either? But seriously, I have met quite a few people from the internet, and the vast majority of the time, if we spoke at all on the phone in advance, it would be something to the effect of, "OK, I'm here, where are you, oh, yeah I see you, bye. If you're not into text messaging, this may not be relevant to you. I don't talk on the phone though.
Most of the time I have spoken to the person I've met over the phone before the first meeting - but that happens when it's at that stage where we are going to meet, we just haven't yet.
I have had guys want my number within the first 5 minutes of online conversation and get offended when I don't give it right out. THAT I am uncomfortable with. My now-wife figured out how to ICQ me, logged on and said, "ok, so where you wanna meet? Honestly, people are going to say "do it" or "don't do it," but I think the only way to know is to try both ways. Also, when I used to do online dating, it just depended on the person and our email chains.
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Sometimes it seemed like a phone call was in order, sometimes setting up a date via email was. Try to talk to someone first; if it goes horribly, don't do it the next time. Or, do, if it seems right. He never used my number, but still Personally, I do prefer at least a brief phone chat before we set up a date, but this is a your-mileage-may-vary thing. It's a second step when it comes to feeling each other out, seeing whether there's a "there" there or whether you'd just end up awkwardly talking about the weather for a couple hours and each of you wishing the night would hurry up and end.
I've done the online dating thing on and off for a bit. I'm not a phone person AT ALL looking at my call logs, I've had one personal call in the past 4 days, but a bajillion texts. I've always happened to have a phone conversation before meeting in person anyone I've met online. Sometimes it's a super brief confirmation "hey, just making sure still on tonight at 8, see you then" , sometimes it's sorta planned in that "ok, this is the next step 'up' from email," way.
If it weren't to happen before we met at [wherever], I probably wouldn't notice. I'm in the "talk first" camp. I need to make sure the guy doesn't sound like Erkel or something before we go out and if he can handle a 15 minute or so phone conversation, I'm usually pretty confident that we'll have a nice chat on the date.
I have actually decided not to go out with men based on awkward phone conversations generally more than one though. I'll allow for some nervousness the first couple of times but if there's too much dead air after that, it usually spells disaster. This could of course explain why I'm still single.
If phone calls seem awkward to you, offer to IM instead.
Conversation on the fly is a good gauge of your ability to relate to each other. I've had great conversations with people on the phone that I had no chemistry with in person and vice versa where you are practically drunk off being in the person's presence, but have nothing to say on the phone. People thrive personality-wise in different media Weird is a subjective characteristic based on the individual, much like attractiveness or sense of humor. Back when I was internet dating, I always got their phone numbers and asked them out via phone if things seemed to be going well online.
I guess it's just what you're more comfortable with. But I have a sneaking suspicion that it's more "proper" to speak with them over the phone, whatever that means.
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Also, I am actually quite surprised at all the people here saying that a phone call isn't necessary. Maybe I'm just "old fashioned. I have never talked to a guy on the phone before going on a date -- I think part of my thought process is that, though it seems silly, by the time I get to the phone stage, I actually feel uncomfortable telling someone that I don't want to go out with them, so I might as well go straight to the date.
My preferred method is emails followed by a short date. Of course, I'm still single, so. Phone is good, but keep it short. Email the ladies with something like: Can I give you a call and set up a date for us to meet in person? Otherwise, it often feels like a phone interview, which can be awkward. I would also keep the email exchanges to at the most before meeting, otherwise you end up wasting a lot of time with people who may never want to actually meet you in person, or who you might not like once you meet in person. If you're the guy, she's waiting for you to ask her to meet her and may be sick of the long-winded emails too.
I'm another internet dating success story--met my husband of almost 2 years online. First came love, then came marriage, then came baby in a baby carriage. I have a very firm rule on this. After the initial email exchange I offer my mobile phone number and ask for their number and a good time to call.naptolena.tk
Golden Rules For Phone Calls
Dependent upon who I'm chatting to this is sometimes accompanied by a joke such as "this will allow me to figure out whether you're a psycho" or by something more warm-hearted such as "it'll be fun for us to hear each other laughing". There are several reasons to get straight onto the phone. The first is that it's far less easy for someone to fake a personality over the phone. The immediacy of phone communications is better than email or chat for getting a sense of who someone really is.
Plus there are far fewer opportunities for ambiguity or crossed wires - you don't need emoticons on the phone. Secondly, if someone is serious about getting to know you, they'll give you their phone number.
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If they're not serious, you're probably wasting your time. Thirdly, once you have their mobile number, you can text them. And texting offers a lot of opportunities for great flirtation. Personally I doubt the sanity of those who are willing to arrange a date with someone before they have even heard the other person's voice. There's not a great deal more risk in giving someone your number than there is in giving someone your IM or email address.
Yet it's so much more personal and revealing to have a phone conversation. I had a roommate who really clicked with a guy from a dating site well before they actually met in person. They quickly built a nice phone rapport - there were calls nearly every day, and she was all excited and happy. But it was around the holidays and they didn't have a chance to meet for perhaps three weeks.
Their first date was a intentionally long movie at his house. She was back home in 30 minutes. I prefer to not talk on the phone, but that's because I absolutely hate talking on the phone - even with good friends I am awkward and anxious and I end up pacing back and forth in my room not knowing what to do with myself. So, that wouldn't be a good 'first impression' and I wouldn't want them to think I'm awkward!
But I know several people both guys and girls love to have have hour-long conversations before they meet, and already know they're definitely going to like the person before meeting them - which I guess is a big plus. I'm sure it's nice knowing what the person looks like AND knowing that you'll get along great. I prefer not to talk to people on the phone, so I don't ask for a phone call, but do ensure that all first meetings take place in very public places. Other women who are more concerned about their safety than I am and probably wisely so will insist on phone calls before public meetings.
Sometimes I'll email someone dozens of times and trade IMs with them, all before we meet in person. This is going to be your backup list in-case the conversation stalls. If you reach a point in the conversation where you both go quiet you can pull one of the topics of conversation from your list. While you are at it, write her name at the top of the list.
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That should prevent you from repeating a less than ideal blunder that I once made…. You should also list out a few interesting or funny stories about yourself to weave into the conversation. One or two is great to keep her interested and laughing. If the conversation is going great without them feel free to save them for the first date.
You want to have a friendly and engaging tone for the entirety of the call. Without any body language to read, all of your communication has to be verbal. A simple message like this is ideal:. Give me a call when you get this. My number is xxx-xxx. The actual conversation itself should be fun and playful. You want to keep it fairly light, tease her a bit, and get know each other. Try not to get into any controversial topics or anything too deep if you can help it.
The whole goal of this conversation is to make sure she is worth meeting in person and setting up the date. The entire call should be minutes tops. Once you reach that threshold you need to decide if you want to meet her in person or not. Not every call is going to work out. You should give the woman the benefit of the doubt though. Not everyone can be as prepared and confident as you on the phone and some people are much better in person. If you still decide to call it off simply end the call gently like this:.
Simple and to the point. Send her a quick text and let her down easy with an honest response:.
Dating Experiment # Start with a phone call – P.S. I Love You
Best of luck to you! You have convinced me that you are not a scary person and I think we should meet in person like normal people. What works best for you? The phrasing is important here. With this phrasing all that she has to do is pick a date. Assuming your conversation went well this will be a very natural transition.